he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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