This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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