Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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