Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I touched a dick in church today
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
