Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
my liver is dry heaving
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
