....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
