Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
