my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
