What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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