Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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