My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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