I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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