i may or may not be watching the land before time
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
