I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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