that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
