maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
