how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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