we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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