I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
