weddingsv make me drug and hornr
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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