there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You smell like stripper and shame
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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