he wants to bone in the snuggie
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
