how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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