Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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