North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize