Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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