They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
