This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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