I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
