good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
