Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
