I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
