His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm really busy with my period
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