i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
