Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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