WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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