don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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