then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
