dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
