I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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