I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
