RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
