worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
