i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
