he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
