what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
