I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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