oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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