My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need water and some morals
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
