we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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